so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
