is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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