I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
