$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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