god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
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you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
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Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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