Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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