2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
