The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
