Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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