Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
