he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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