My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
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Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
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I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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