Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
