She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
