i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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