I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
look no pants
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
