ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize