I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
