dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
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He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
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Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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