i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
