You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
