It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
