Moan for me like Helen Keller
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
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Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
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Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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