Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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