i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
