I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize