Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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