Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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