there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize