You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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