I feel like abortions should bother me more
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
