I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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