Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the day after is always just damage control
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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