You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
