She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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