And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm just crazy horny about you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
