Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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