if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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