Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
