in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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