i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
