Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
