I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize