i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
