Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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