Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
