the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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