i just wanna soil my oats bro
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
