his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
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i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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