Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
