I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
