Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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