just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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