Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
