ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
