They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Let's paint friendship bongs
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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